Having lived for a little while now with a chronic illness, I was surprised today by the question, "What is your dream?"
For a long time I had been focused on whether it was a 'good' day or a 'bad' day, not seeing very far into the future apart from to schedule medical appointments. And while I got used to this new way of life, I began to realise this focus on my health was ultimately unhealthy. I wasn't going out anywhere, I wasn't seeing my friends, I wasn't reading or doing any of the fun stuff I used to. I wasn't me anymore. I became my illness. Not good.
So over the last two years this has become my new focus. Rekindling friendships I missed dearly, rediscovering my passions and what made me happy. Venturing out on those days I feel good. Driving again, and most recently finally gaining my full licence!! However I had given no thought yet to what my dreams may be now.
So I was asked this question today while watching a movie with my Mum and baby sister. I felt the woman in said movie had such an attainable dream, something she'd actually end up doing which seemed foreign to me (She wanted to open a pie shop if you're wondering). This prompted my Mum to ask me what my dream was.
"To go into outerspace." I said quite seriously.
"Really?" My Mum looked surprised.
"No."
But after this teasing of my Mum, I really thought about it. I actually admitted to her later on that I'd like to write. Maybe publish a book one day, but it was just a dream and I don't see it as something attainable.
And then I received a really special email from my sweet friend Michelle that made me realise perhaps it's not such a silly thing to hope for. And the more I think about it, the more I feel that even if no one ever read what I wrote, I'd still LOVE writing. So I'm going to do it. I am going to complete a piece of writing, a complete novel.
And while I'm talking about totally sweet friends, a huge thank you for Claire as well for the amazing thing you did today!
So to finish off, I encourage you to remember your dreams. What did you want to be when you were a kid? What brings you joy and happiness?
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