Strange realisations

It's been a peaceful time around here lately. I wouldn't dare say quiet, besides how can any last week of the kindy term be quiet? But things have been pretty smooth sailing. Sure there's the lack of money that comes at this time of year, the hurry to finish off shopping, the regular cardiologist appointment (Have had one every December for the last three years without fail).

And still there is the sense of calm. Of peace. Our little family has been through so much that the regular stressful times don't really seem all that bad to us. We're lucky to just focus on the blessings, the beautiful feeling of community and love that this season of the year is about.

I guess it helps that we've made our major decision for next year already - the boys schooling. An interesting thing though, that during this time I have been feeling quietly happy, reflective and joyful I have also been a lot quieter than usual. Strange.

And then my second realisation. I have been blessed with a gorgeous little baby nephew this year, an absolute sweetheart of a child whom I adore. However I have in no way felt clucky, or wondered if in some time in our future it might be possible to have another child (Cue cardiologist going very pale at the thought). No, this morning I discovered that what it takes for me to get clucky is Multiple babies. I've been browsing some of the Multiple Mum's websites and show me a picture of twins or more and gosh how I yearn for more! Not one more though. Only 2+ will do!!!

Perhaps the reason I can safely indulge this feeling is because there is absolutely no way we will have anymore children. :)

The cardiologist appointment went well. My heart is back in the mild dysfunction category, I seem to greatly confuse my wonderful Cardiologist. All winter I've been unwell and my heart function was dropping. Come summer and I'm back to improving. It makes him nervous.

Of course then I asked about decreasing my meds. I'm so mean because there is no way I am in a position to decrease at the moment, I just ask everytime my function looks better as it makes my cardiologist uncomfortable that I'm getting ahead of myself. Basically, it's my own personal in-joke. Everytime I get the same answer - We won't be doing anything with your meds until you are stable over a greater amount of time. Then we may decrease a little. Or not, it all depends.

I already knew that ;)

In which I kidnap a small child....

First, the background to the events which took place today;

I have been feeling incredibly lethargic again. This has been going on for a good few weeks now - definitely more than a month. I find it has made me forgetful (Missed a play date for the boys - like completely until three days later), and slow-on-my-feet. I can't make quick decisions anymore. Or the quick decisions I do make may leave something to be desired. I could blame the beta blockers, I could blame the mystery illness, but in reality I have no idea what it is turning my brain to mush at the moment.

In addition today I was on a mission to pick up three preschoolers from kindy. Let me set the scene:
Three 4 year olds dump their bags by my feet and run for the gate. I manage to carry bags and ask said children to hold hands outside the gate. Feel quite smug as the listen and walk confidently out the gate. Feel quite panicked as they head for the road. Check behind me, no one coming out the gate. Call out to children to stop (Hah!) and close gate behind me. Walk out towards the road (Slowly, remember carrying three bags) and feel something tug on my dress. Probably one of the bags is caught I think. Children run down street towards where the car is parked. Slight panic as I know I can't catch them.

Feel tug again. Turn around. Am stealing a small 2 year old that has become attached to my dress. Children by car looking to be deciding whether to head onto the road to get into the car from that side. Children not listening to me calling out to them. Make snap decision.

Manage to pick up small child and all three bags, catch 4 year olds, herd them into car, put 2 year old in front seat so as to buckle in 4 year olds. Tell them to sit in their seats while I take 2 year old back to the kindy.

Too late. Discover from the kindy teacher madly searching the cars that 2 year old has been discovered missing and kindy-wide search has been started. I am the perpetrator.

Now I have had time to think, the scenario would have been better had I;
A. Caught all three 4 year olds, told them to hold hands and walked back to kindy with small child.
B. Not put small child in the car but held him so when his Mother came looking she saw I had him
C. Actually realised a bag can not insistently tug on my dress and looked down when closing the kindy gate

But I went for option D. And that's the story of how I became a kidnapper.

The magic touch

I am officially now a kitten fosterer. We had our first set of kittens, four gorgeous little eight week olds, over the last two weeks. The had little cat colds and we learnt how to give them their medicines, keep them warm and fed and fluid-filled. We got to cuddle, teach our boys gentle handling of little cat babies. And then they went back, to get ready for their new homes.

And that was the test for me. That first time I would have to surrender the cute little balls of fluff I'd been spending all that time socialising and helping to get better. I was fine about it. It was a joy to know we had helped these kittens, aided the rescue centre and there were now four kittens not only healthy, but friendly and well socialised enough to be perfect for rehoming. A nice accomplishment.

Then three nights ago we dropped these little ones off and picked up our next two rescues. They were the definition of what you'd expect from rescue animals - scared of humans, scared of noise, weren't eating and would hiss and claw at us when we went near them. This would be my biggest challenge, and also biggest learning curb. Now three nights later, these same little feral kittens are sitting up on our bed, playing with us and jumping on our knees. They are eating well, playing and just normal kittens now. It seems I have the magic touch for this! We were warned it would take up to three weeks to get them used to touch, being picked up etc... and while they are still a little timid and nervous of being petted we have come so far in just three days.

I think this whole fostering thing could quite possibly be one of the most important things I have done for myself since I got unwell. It's healing the feeling of being lacking in some nurturing way that occurred when the boys were babies and I was extremely unwell but didn't know why. It's fulfilling the longing of having another baby in the house to rectify where I went wrong last time. It's giving me a reason to rest and jobs to do.

While it has also helped me to realise I will never be crazy cat lady - in the future I'd like to only actually own one cat at a time - I do see this as being a long term thing for as long as I'm needed. I feel useful. So this, along with the extra time I get to spend with my nieces and nephews due to being a stay-at-home Mum has made the fact that a paid job is not a possibility in the near future much easier to accept.

I can't forget what my younger sister said either, to treasure the fact I get to be at home with my children regardless of the circumstance that might have led to it.

Seems I have many good and wonderful people around me ready and willing to lift me up when I'm feeling a little down. Texting me, chatting with me and even making me fruit salad :) and I now feel, in a round about way, I am finally giving a little something back.