Monday, June 29, 2009

Mutiples and more Question Of The Week

OK, so I'm a day late. But better late than never. This weeks question:

Where and when was your best family vacation?

This is a tricky one as I've had so many great family vacations. It's a close call between the trip to Disney land with my parents and three sisters when I was 14, and a recent family summer holiday we went on to Napier over this past christmas. I'm going to go with the Napier trip, simply as I got to enjoy it with my parents and sisters, AND also all our partners and kids so it was very special.

As what was meant to be part of our christmas present (We all somehow still got rather a lot of gifts on the 25th..) my parents paid for us all to go up, accomodation and food as well as all other expenses. We got to take the kids through a maize maze, visit the aquarium, go to splash planet, go to Napier Prison on a tour, go shopping and go to the beautiful ice cream store.

It was a great holiday filled with laughter and fun. In fact I enjoyed it so much it is the destinations for AN and I's girly trip coming up this summer. :)

Sunday, June 28, 2009


I just finally caught up and installed Firefox. Now I have a lovely customised pink toolbar, bookmarks etc. So cute.

I'm just checking the blogging add-on to see how it works. Quite a boring entry huh?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Baby Love...

I have been putting off a post all week. I've logged on almost everyday of said week and just stared at my dashboard, before checking out everyone elses blog updates. I've had such an up and down week it never seemed like to right moment to sit down and pour my heart out. Either I felt too down to make myself even more sad, or was having a great time and wanted to ignore the issue which has been playing on my mind for the last three years and has just decided to make a come back.

When I was diagnosed with Dilated Cardiomyopathy it was made very clear that under no circumstances should we contemplate a pregnancy at that point in time. To the point my Cardiologist made sure my GP went through suitable contraception options mere days after my first visit with him. This was the first time I began to wonder if more children would ever be in our future. Our plan pre-children had always been to have two, but after having the twins we realised we would love to add to our family one more time.

In fact, when I was diagnosed even though I was extremely unwell I had been to so many doctors that didn't believe me that I thought once I had lost some weight I would be all better and we could try again for another baby. We decided this at the end of November. This would be my new years resolution for 2007, something to aim for and look forward too. We were hoping to have a 2008 baby. I was diagnosed in early December 2006 and all those plans fell away.

I was much too sick for this thought to really play on my mind much. As time has worn on I've noticed that it is now when I am most sick the thoughts of having a baby plays on my mind. Bizarre, as I am not afraid to admit I struggle so much with the two beautiful children we already do have on these days. In fact, to have any hope of having the energy to get through the entire week my boys are in care/kindy 18 hours per week. How in the world would I cope with a newborn? Is this just a matter of wanting the one thing I can't have?

Added to this have been the recent opinions of both my cardiologist and the doctor we would most need during a subsequent pregnancy, my obstetrician/fertility specialist. My cardiologist is absolutely against another pregnancy right now. He's not sure what the future holds, but even if I fully recovered and came off all meds he'd be very nervous about another pregnancy. My obstetrician when I saw him said he would be very scared of leaving three children and a husband without their Mother and Wife. It's certainly not something these top specialists would be pleased about.

The fact is, I tried coming off my meds and my heart function declined. I now have fainting spells, I am carrying too much weight which is making it difficult enough for my poor heart let alone adding pregnancy to that stress. I have PCOS which means it's unlikely I could fall pregnant on my own anyway, hence needing support from a wide range of specialists even if the best case scenario - that I was fully recovered and off all meds.

I just wish I could stop yearning for something I can not have. I want to only focus on my recovery/health (and of course my family and friends).

I must add though that in no way am I upset or jealous of other people having babies or adding to their families. I am especially excited when someone I know is having a baby, as I know how wanted and loved they will be and I'm lucky enough to be a part of this new little persons life. The feelings I have are actually very selfish ;) Considering I'm lucky enough to have twins, I really don't know why I'm having such trouble with this.

I am feeling better about it all tonight, thus my being able to talk about it here. Hopefully by next week I'll be back to cringing at the thought of being woken at 2am by crying, followed by being spewed on and probably pooped on.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Multiples and More; Question of the Week

This weeks question is all about Dads, given it's Father's day in the States today. Since I have already spoken about my Dad here, and to avoid my Mum being becoming jealous again (I did write about my Dad first, but I was waiting for Mother's Days to write about/to my Mum. I'll never live it down!) I'm not going to share this post between two of the most important men in my life. I am going to instead write this post just about one, the Father of my gorgeous twins, my darling husband.

What makes him a great Father?

Taken three years ago, must update our Father-son pictures!

I have always truely believed in the train of thought that the best gift a Father can give his children is to love their Mother. This being the case Craig is gifting those boys one huge magnificent gift. My boys have such an amazing role model in their Dad that I have no doubt he is the one growing them to be little gentlemen.

Often in the weekends it's Daddy time. My boys spend the whole weekend trailing their Dad around, wanting to do whatever it is he is doing, wanting him to play with them and read with them. Calmly and lovingly Craig helps them to join in the household chores, and even when the two begin fighting over who is going to push the washing machine button, or which of them is allowed to feed the cats Craig lets them know they will each get a turn and has an amzing knack of remembering whos turn it is.

Craig is an amazing Father. He isn't afraid to let his boys know he loves them. He comes home after a long day at work and every night bathes them, reads them stories and gets them to bed (More often than not he also makes sure they have nice full tummies too!).

I feel I'm just not doing justice to Craig, and the amazing Dad he is. But this is a start. I love him so much and he makes me so proud.

Busy, busy life

Things have been pleasently busy around here lately. I have new pics of the boys I took on a very special day for them. I'll upload into another post later today, all things going to plan (does that sound slightly sarcastic? Things very rarely go by my best laid plans do they?).

I've been unwell. I've felt better. I've felt unwell again. Through all this I have been living my life, enjoying my boys, having great times with friends, exploring holiday options for over the summer when I will be off on a girl's holiday with Nuka while my darling husband stays home with our twins. Going out to the movies with Claire and having a wonderful time. I've been resting, Chatting lots at with Craig, crying at the end of Marley and Me, attending four year old birthday parties with the twins, getting terrible headaches I can't shake, ignoring said headaches to watch Ben10 for the millionth time with the twins.

I also have phone calls I haven't replied to yet. And emails. And a bit of washing to be done. So things haven't been quite perfect this week. Luckily I'm not aiming for perfection. Just to be living my life with happiness.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I get by with a little help...

I was taking my nightly meds and realised just how much my life has come to depend on these little marvels of medicine.

Thes medications that I take were found to be effective for patients in heart failure/ diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy sometime in the early 21st century.

Nine years ago.

Looking back to 1980 there was a high rate of mortality for those found to have the exact condition I do. They were given five years at most to live. Many did not even make it to one year past diagnosis. If you've seen the movie Beaches, this is what one of the main characters died from.

I am currently sitting at two and a half years past diagnosis.

I have little tablets that clear my body of excess fluid to help my heart pump blood more easily. I have little tablets that slow down my heart rate, lower my blood pressure so my heart can rest and hopefully heal. I have meds that keep me safe from blood clots developing. Not to mention the meds helping my insulin resistance and iron deficiency.

Along with all the positives these meds bring, of course there are side effects. Severe tiredness, forgetfulness, a heart rate that now at times goes too low. My kidney and liver function are checked every three months to see how they are dealing with all this toxicity.

I wouldn't trade a thing.

These little marvels of medicine? They saved my life.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Update on blogging scam

It seems that the perpetrator of one the scams I talked about here was tracked down through her business and facebook accounts. It's all so very sad, but I thought others may like to read about this latest update, and read about the news paper article done on this here.

I'm exhausted tonight. I have no energy to add more on this, and feel I am unlikely to want to discuss it in anymore detail at all. Just keep safe lovely blog readers.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

My little heroes

My twins, my heroes

I had a rather eventful day yesterday, through which i truely saw how amazing my boys are and how much they have grown up.

I came home around lunch time having treated the twins to a special lunch and feeling in need of a rest. Next thing I knew I had sever pain in my tummy, and as I was waslking down the hallway to the bathroom (I felt very flushed and wanted cold water) I collapsed. The world spun, my vision went and I managed to lie down just before everything went black. I don't think I was out for too long, the boys were next to me asking if I was OK. Next thing they were bringing me blankets, toys to cuddle and the cell phone so I could call someone.

To cut a long story short i was very troublesome and stubborn and it took for Craig to come home for me to go to the doctor. I felt too sick to go. It seems I am allergic to Penicillin, but it was low grade so I kept taking it thinking everyone must feel that bad on antibiotics. Itr was day five that all this happens, so it seems my body had enough. Because of the pain my BP and heart rate should have shot up, but my heart meds prevent this so my body went into shock, my heart rate got too slow and I passed out. I've been on 24 hours bed rest to allow my body to heal, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow and getting up to be with my boys.

So I've slept on and off, had a lovely visit from my Claire with lots of great DVDs (And food, I'm too spoilt with such wonderful friends) and am hoping not to have another fainting episode. Ever.

I am so very proud of my boys though. They did everything right, didn't panic and waited with me until Craig got home. I know I have a few people upset with me for not calling someone closer, but I hate to make a fuss and as I said i was too sick to want to go to the doctor.

I have begun to think though it may be time to teach the twins about calling emergency services. I'm just not sure if at nearly four they will grasp the difference between when to call and when not to? Any ideas?

Bloggers (and readers) beware

In the last two weeks I have found myself having followed two seperate blogs which in one way or another turned out to be fake. I do not wish to draw anymore attention to these poor ladies than is necessary, those of you whom follow other blogs will likely know who I mean. Having come across these ladies blogs through other blogs I read, I got caught up in their stories of unwell children and eventful pregnancies. As it turns out both these women are very unwell and unstable, one harming her own child for attention and the other never having been pregnant at all.

I find it incredibly sad that so many people got very close emotionally to both these blogs and the children they were about. Many people invested time, money and their services to help out the families in need. There are many people today I think wary of following other's blogs they don't know personally.

I myself do not regret the time I spent reading either of these blogs. In one situation there is a sweet little girl deserving of good thoughts and prayers, regardless of the Mother's actions and misleading blog. In another the young lady is obviousle unstable and still in need of good thoughts and well wishes. I don't think there is anything wrong in sending some good, positive vibes or prayers out there, no matter of the recepient they are aimed at. In one way or another everyone needs them.

But I also think it is a time for bloggers and blog readers to protect themselves. Not to become quite so emotionally involved in another's blog until you can be certain of their motives. With the access to the internet and an abundance of medical info out there, it is all too easy for someone to pose as being sick, having an unwell child or significant other. Whether this be for money or for attention the result is still devestating for those who follow their made up lives when the truth becomes clear. And it always does.

So I would like to encourage those whom blog and read to make sure:
1) If you are posting photos onto the internet please watermark them with your name
2)If you blog please consider disabling the right click function. Just makes things a little harder for the scammers out there.
3)Never give details of where exactly you live, plans for outings until they are over, or information about your child's school or preschool
4)It's OK I think to use first names, but be wary of letting you entire name be known through your blog. It then only becomes a matter of elimination for people to track you down.
5) Be wary of a blog asking for donations until you are entirely sure of the bloggers motives, know them or trust someone who does know them.
6)Be wary if a relatively new blogger begins running competitions to bump up their blog views when they also run adds on their site. This is how one of the scammers made their money.

Overall just take care of yourself. If it turns out someone you have been following is a scammer, delete them from your following list and move on. Don't beat yourself up and don't let it stop you from enjoying other people's blogs. There are so many lovely, genuine bloggers out there.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ah, I deserved that

I was flicking through a gossip magazine this evening when I was called away to do another chore. When I came back to get said magazine, I found baby B studying some of the pictures on the page I had left open. "Oh look honey, it's Daddy." I said cheerfully, laughing to myself as I pointed out a picture of Sasha Baron Cohen dressed as his new Bruno character.

"Yeah Mummy!" baby B replied, "And there's you!" It took me a minute to figure out just what exactly the picture was he was pointing too. Then I realised, and gracefully picked the magazine up and closed it.

You see, it was said actors bare buttocks in Eminem's face.

I guess I had that one coming.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

52nd post

I only just realised I'm up to my 52nd post here on my blog. It's only been a little under three months since I started this blog up and made a commitment to update regularly so as to have something to look back on as my boys grow older. I have now decided that I am also going to let this get up to a certain number of posts (Or perhaps a time limit? Like a years worth?) and then print it all out to make a book. Something for myself and my children to look back on. I know I would LOVE to read something like this written by my parents, grandparents and even more distant relatives.

So to keep me on track I am promising you my lovely readers, a prize draw. This is post number 52. When I reach post number 100, leave a comment in my comments section and you will be entered into a draw to receive an as yet to be decided prize.

Now, the catch is that I am not going to tell you it is the 100th post. I will remind you along the way, and may leave a pretty obvious hint in my 100th post.

Excited? I am! This contest is open to all, no matter where in the world you are. I may just wait and see who wins (By randomised number choosing) to decide the gift so I can send something distinctly Kiwi if one of my beautiful friends/blog readers from overseas wins.

Yay! Watch this space and get ready to start commenting!

So, it seems I'm a sock puppet...

My two boys are growing up so fast. They have learnt so many new things in just the past couple of months, and are coming out with witty, smart new things on a daily basis at the moment. It's been so much fun and really exciting seeing what they will come up with next.

In the evenings we have gotten into the habit of them having two stories before bed. This means they can each pick a book, and we take turns with which book is read first. Well tonight they both agreed they wanted made up stories from Daddy. My darling husband was pretty thrilled, given he has a family story which was told to him by his Grandmother that he has been desperate wanting to share with our children from way back before we even started trying for them. It's a really sweet story about the adoption of a Drake by Craig's Nana and how this Drake (Slappy) became a part of their family. I kept a careful ear on the story, hoping Craig would not share the true ending of the story with the boys.

You see, up until two years ago Craig thought the story ended with everyone living happily ever after. That perhaps Slappy had grown old and retired to another large farm in the area his Grandparents lived in. Then one occasion as he was telling his parents with enthusiasm his wish to share the Slappy story with our boys, his Father mentioned leaving out the part where Slappy was run over by his Mother and died. Craig was, to say the least, completely bereft gutted. Thankfully his story did not end with the true happenings.

Then Ben requested a story about pigs, and I argued it would be fun to hear a story of how Mummy and Daddy met. Luckily my husband managed the story of how we met by making me a Princess, him a crazy strange man that scared people and our old workmates were the three pigs. Ahem. Anyway.

As the boys tiredly but happily went off to bed, their eyes heavy and their cherubic faces lit up with smiles, I couldn't help but wonder what new things tomorrow would bring. Would James, as I try to dress him and accidentally put his arm where his head is meant to go in his top, again call me a sock puppet?

Only time will tell what exciting things we have to look forward to.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

But I don't want too!!

Today I am stomping my feet, throwing a little tanty and declaring that I don't want to be sick anymore!! Well, I would be if I had the energy too. Instead I am in bed yet again with a incredibly sore throat caused by strep, a sore chest due to the beginning of a chest infection and a sore tummy due to penicillian. Return of tachycardia due to the temperature I keep running.

I promise I can see the joy in this. I have a book I have been wanting to read for about two months. I have cross stitch patterns to work on. I can rest and lie queitly taking care of myself so hopefully I well recover a little quicker from this small set back. It's the weekend and my darling husband is home watching the twins so it's possible for me to do this.

At the same time I have days like this. And I allow them, it's natural I think to become frustrated. I just wanted to spend a weekend day with my family. I just wanted to do some pottering in the garden, go to the park, keep up my new exercise plan... I just wanted to do something else.

But I will rest and take care. I will enjoy some reading and craft work. It will still turn out to be a lovely day.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Carla’s easy steps to organising your emails

This evening, my wonderful readers, I am going to share with you my amazing steps for effectively managing your emails. You will read them. You will be amazed. You will wonder ‘how did I ever effectively reply to my emails before?’

Firstly, have an email account. Receive some emails. Then follow these easy steps.

1. Decide if it is something which needs deleting (the ads for websites you don’t recall joining, and really must remember to ask to be deleted from their customer list so as to avoid future spam mail… opps it’s deleted. What was the website again? Decide to deal with it next time you receive spam. Repeat ad nauseam)
2. Decide if it is a keeper, whether it needs to be replied to or filed away. Keep going back and forth on this point. Create new folders specifically for storing emails you wish to keep under descriptive headings. Change your mind and decide maybe you should reply. Leave email in inbox until a year later. When you delete it.
3. Decide if it is a replier. This is an email you have received from a dear friend or family member which has really cheered you up, made your day, or just has a question which needs replying to. In this case, further steps need to be taken:
A. Feel so happy all day said friend/family member has thought of you and taken the time to write to you. Decide this requires a specially thought out email in reply. Decide to take your time to make this email particularly special.
B. Spend a few days wondering how to make said email especially special
C. Worry about the fact it’s been a few days and you still haven’t replied. Now the reply email must be extra especially special.
D. Realise it’s been at least a week and you haven’t replied to any emails. By now are likely in the middle of some illness/flare of illness, and promise yourself the email you send will be so fantastically wonderful it will make up for further delay due to your illness.
E. Two weeks later reply to the email. Apologise for delay. Email is not special or exciting, but now at least the other person knows you haven’t disappeared off the face of the earth. And you aren’t ignoring them.
F. Receive a reply to your reply. Repeat steps A-F.

Really though, I love getting emails. And blog comments. I’m endevouring to answer my comments too, and just a heads up I am doing this in the comments section. I just now realized how silly this may be, as if you leave a comment do you then go back and read other comments? Trying to come up with a better system than this.

Or in true procrastinator style, I am planning to plan a better system than this.

Monday, June 1, 2009

100 things about me

1.I’m 26, but often forget how old I am. Especially when asked by specialists.
2.I always wanted twins
3.After trying to conceive for a year we were referred to Fertility Associates
4.After one cycle of fertility treatment I was pregnant
5.It was twins :)
6.I tease Craig a lot
7.but I really love and adore him
8.I have three sisters and I think quite amazingly we all get on well.
9.My older sister is really amazing and brave. I’m always looking up to her
10.She has two children whom I sometimes pretend are mine
11.I used to fight a lot with my sister whom is three years younger than me
12.Now we’re good friends. I've talked about her here
13.I adore my baby sister.
14.My friend I have been lucky to know the longest is Claire.
15.I have been friends with her for 23 years.
16.She’s one of the best people I know.
17.I went to an all girl’s high school
18.I’m really glad I did as I met some of the greatest people there
19.One of them is Nuka
20.She’s my soul sister
21.Another is Michelle
22.I really miss her as she’s in London right now
23.After being unwell I have caught up with many more people from high school.
24.They have all grown to be beautiful young ladies
25.I feel extremely lucky.
26.I really enjoy a cup of tea at the end of the day
27.I like to say things like “This tea and scone are delightful” when around my family
28.They hate it :p
29.I secretly quite like South Park
30.Michelle does too!
31.I don’t thinks she’ll mind me outing her
32.I love going for walks
33.I love dressing my twins up warm and playing outside in the rain
34.They love it too
35. I find it hard deciding where to send my boys for school
36.Or kindy
37.Or High School.
38.I would like to go back to uni someday
39.I’d like to gain a Master’s degree
40.I married Craig in Fiji almost six years ago
41.We had planned a big wedding at home first
42.The thought of it made me miserable
43.Because I’m extremely shy
44.I hate being centre of attention
45.I do now wish we’d had the money to fly my friends over
46.And Craig’s family
47.I’d like to think we’ll renew our vows one day
48.I really love the book The Shack.
49.I believe it is true
50.In so far as it is the authors journey
51.Not that I actually think it happened exactly as it is written
52.I have been banned from exercise for three years
53.Because of a heart condition
54.I’ve finally been cleared to do gentle walking
55.I’m going to my Mum’s every day
56.To walk 15 minutes on her treadmill
57.I am so happy to be at this point.
58.I have struggled with my weight
59.More the feelings associated with it
60.I feel much more peaceful about it now
61.I have learnt a lot from being sick
62.I hate having misunderstandings with people
63.I like to try and fix things
64.I’m accepting I can’t change how other people feel
65.But I’m working on how I see things
66.I love to read
67.and write
68.and do cross-stitch
69.and long-stitch
70.I’m hoping to start playing the piano again
71.I wonder how I will ever express how grateful I am to all my friends and family
72.I’d like to take them all on a holiday Disney Land
74.My twins often ask if they can have a friend over
75.In this order; Nuka, K and R, Claire, Chelle, K’s Mum, Jordyn, each other.
76.then they ask where their other cousins are
77.and why they aren’t home
78.with us
79.Must stop pretending they are my kids!
80.I am really happy where I am
81.but I still do worry about things much less than I used to though
83.Once I make my mind up, I’m unlikely to change it
84.As was obvious when I went to a kid’s cafĂ© the for the first time
and booked it then and there for the twins fourth party
85.In September
86.That was in May.
87.I would like to spend more time with my Grandparents
88.and with my Dad
89.Just chatting
90.I really love my computer
91.I call her Adell
92.Because she’s a Dell
93.I’m going to go see Lovely Bones when it’s released with Nuka
94.For our joint birthday
95.We’re one month and one day apart
96.One day I will be well enough to go on a hike
97.I’ll go with Nuka, and one with my Dad
98.I love receiving comments on my blog. I really appreciate them and read every single one!
99.I try to be a good person. I’m doing the best I can.
100. I'm wondering where I made a mistake as there was 100 when I wrote this in Word and now there's 99....

A big thank you to the lovely author of this blog (and my new blogging buddy) for the great idea for this blog entry!